I Can't Do This Anymore
by RiderOfRohan3019
Summary: Don finds Megan during her darkest moment. Can he save her? Post Janus List


**I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE**

**Summary- **During her darkest hour, Don finds her in the most unthinkable position. Afraid and broken. Can he save her?

"I'm going home," was all she said. It was said almost in a way that was sure that she wouldn't be back. At all.

Don ran to catch up with her. "Megan," He said as he gently grabbed her shoulder. "Are you gonna be okay?" Of course she wouldn't be okay. Colby had left her in there alone. If there had been more than one guy standing, she'd probably be in the hospital or worse, dead.

"I honestly don't know." Don could feel how tense she was.

"Look, go home. If you need to, call me. You know you can call me when ever you need to."

Megan gave Don the smile of someone who had been so betrayed and mislead that they'd never be the same again. "I know, Don. That's what's so good about you. You never change."

Don gave his weary friend an encouraging smile. "Thanks. You gonna be okay to drive home?"

"Yeah. I can do that much." She sounded so close to tears Don wondered if he should just go ahead and drive her. "Really, I'll be fine. It's five minutes away."

"Okay. If you're sure."

"I'm sure." She smiled again, somewhat stronger this time. Megan turned and walked away to the elevators. As Don watched her step into the first one that opened, David came up behind him.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I hope so." Don glanced at his only remaining half-way sane team member. He knew he was just as hurt as himself, but he seemed more pissed than anything. "What about you?"

"I'll be fine. Eventually." David gave his boss a strong smile and Don knew David would make it through okay.

Megan's thoughts had already been shaky about being able to keep doing her job as an FBI agent. He knew now that they had to be completely shattered by what Colby had done to her.

"Don, maybe you should go talk to her. SAC said that we could leave and finish this stuff later." He was talking about the hellish amount of paper work.

"Yeah." Don was quiet for a moment. "I don't think she's gonna make it through this, David. I seriously don't."

"Colby left her in there alone. She's going to be shaky for a while."

"That's not what I mean David."

"Oh." He knew exactly what Don meant now.

"I'm going to check on her." Don walked back over to his desk and grabbed his jacket and keys, said good-night to David and left the FBI building.

As he drove to Megan's apartment, Don thought of all the ways he could find her. He hoped it would be in a good way. Not the way he was dreading.

He pulled into a parking space close to the building and sought out the windows of her apartment. He found them but there were no lights on. That wasn't good. He knew she was home because he saw her car.

"Megan, please don't do what I think you're gonna do," Don pleaded to his friend as he went to the door. He pressed the button for her apartment but there was no response. _Damn it, Megan._ He pulled out his lock pick and unlocked it. As he got closer to her apartment on the second story, he drew his gun, more out of habit than anything else.

He knocked on the door. "Go away." Megan sounded like she'd been crying.

"Megan, open the door."

"I said go away."

"Not a chance. Open the door, Megan. Please."

He didn't get a response so he checked the knob to see if the door was locked. _Nope. Man, if you don't want someone coming in on you, lock the friggin' door._ He silently opened the door. What met his eyes was the very scene he'd been dreading.

Megan was sitting on the floor with pictures of the team as they had once been layed around her in a semi-circle, gun in hand, cocked and ready to fire. She was crying.

Don holstered his gun and dropped to his knees next to Megan. "Come on Megan. Don't do this."

"Why not? Everything I ever wanted is gone."

"How? You still have friends that care about you. Everything isn't gone." Her shoulders started shaking as she cried harder. "Please don't do this."

"No one would miss me," She said in between sobs.

"What are you talking about?" Don couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Just what I said. No one would miss me if I was gone. I can't do this anymore." She started to raise the gun and as she put her finger on the trigger, Don grabbed it from her. To his surprise, she didn't fight him. She only cried harder. Putting the gun far away and safe, he wrapped Megan in a tight embrace as she cried. He didn't know what to say so he let her cry on his shoulder, rubbing her back gently, trying to offer what little comfort he could. They stayed like that for God knows how long before the sobs began to recede.

She fell asleep in his arms and he gently picked her up and carried her to her bed room. As he placed her on the bed, she stirred. "Don?" He looked own at her.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being here. I owe you."

"You owe me nothing. Just promise me not to scare the hell out of me again by holding a loaded gun in your hands other then trying to shoot some sick bastard who deserves it. Okay?"

"Does that include Granger?"

"Not yet."

"Damn." He knew that she'd only talk like that if she was drunk. Or extremely scared, broken and vulnerable. "I'm glad you came," She said as she drifted off to sleep.

Don leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "So am I, Megan. So am I."

He couldn't even imagine the pain of finding out she committed suicide and knowing that he could've stopped her. He wasn't going to say anything to David about her not being able to live with what Colby had done. He decided that if she wanted to tell him, she would. He had no right to tell any one.

Don walked out of her room and closed the door a fraction. He'd stay there in case she woke up during the night. He knew she'd need more help getting through this and that this was only the beginning of a slow process. Hell, she might end up like him, seeing a damned psychologist. Although, he had to admit, it did help occasionally. Maybe he could refer him to her. But only if she agreed.

They would help her get though it. Don knew he and David would do anything for her. They'd do what ever it took to help. And he knew that she knew that.

They would deal with what ever came when it came and help her break down the barriers to get through. No matter what it took.


End file.
